This will blow your mind in regards to the power (and limits) of focus.
Seeing is not believing. We see what we believe
[via seth]
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An odd game of tag has broken out on the blogosphere. Someone posts a question on their blog and then "tags" 5 people who are also blog to answer the same questions. If all goes well they also tag 5 people, creating a tree of responses. For some reason this is called a "meme".
In the past 7 days I was tagged byKaren (who was part of Brad and Joia's travel group to China) and Michael (the first person I met during orientation my freshman year off college).
Karen nominated me for a thinking blogger in her post"Aw-Shucks!". Basically, it is a list of 5 blogs that make you think. My 4 in no particular order (and yes I have posted about many of these before).
The Dilbert Blog: Scott Adams, the creator of Dilbert, blogs daily about what is on his mind. He is not afraid to take on touchy subjects. Half the time I think he is a total whack-job, but he is willing to change thoughts and beliefs we take for granted.
Seth Godin's blog: Seth is a marketing person. He has written a number of book that I like enough to own and go back to. He writes a lot about the creative process.
Thoughts On the Way: Cameron Conant is a Nashville based writer. He describes himself with the Maya Angelo thought, "I am not a Christian, but I am trying to be." Very open self-assessment of his own journey.
Beyond marketing: Joe Vitale is one of the most successful internet marketers of all time. His blog is very rarely about marketing. It is more about chasing dreams. From time to time he gets a little new-agey, but I love his willingness to chase dreams and challenge others to do the same. More than once a week something he rights causes me to change the way I am chasing my dreams.
Mike tagged me as part of Alex Shalman's
I have no shortage of goals, but I don't like the phrase of the question. It implies the only way I can say that I have lived the best possible life if I am able to check of certain things off a list. I do have such a list, but what is more important than doing certain things is how I think I will grow and change by trying to reach such goals. Also, the question doesn't take into account that the world and (hopefully) I am going to change. The list can't be static. Therefore any goal list I have today is subject to review as soon as lunch time.
Here are some goals I have and (more importantly) why:
40 countries by 40 (to count a country I must spend 7 nights in it): I love international travel because it makes me look at the world from a different point of view. It is easy to fall into the trap to assume my thoughts are the best thoughts because they are based on my experience, but that experience is so incomplete. By visiting other cultures I am forced to challenge my assumptions. By making myself stay 7 days I am more likely to wonder away from the tourist traps and see what that local culture is really like. By setting the goal of 40 by 40 it has created as sense of urgency. As I am planning each year it forces me to think creativity of where I would like to go and how I am going to get there. I am desperately behind because I keep going back to countries I like and still have much to learn from.
Appear on Fresh Air with Terry Gross: I will live a long and happy life if I never appear on any radio show, but I did this it would be I have created something very cool. Fresh Air doesn’t have your typical radio guest, whom are trying to sell something, but instead are movers and shakers in some field. They have written a book or created/starred in tv/movie that is thoughtful and meaningful. If I appeared on Fresh Air I will have created something that is meaningful to culture. I fancy myself a creative and hope to create something(s) that are thought provoking, healing and/or challenging.
Keynote NCCYM: It is an arrogant statement to say I have something to offer and to long for a particular stage. The group of people who adore more than any other are adults who take time to love and support young people. As we have crossed the country time and again I have been blessed with the opportunity meet and be touched by so many of these adults. They are underserved. Because of this it has driven me to write my first book, start an e-newsletter, and speak at retreats and training for nothing (next to nothing). If I reached this goal, it would mean that I have honed my craft to the point that others think I have something to offer on such a large prestigious stage. It would also mean I could stand in front of 2000 of these adults to tell them they are loved and even if no one back home ever says thank you, I do.
Become an EFT Master This is a training and working process that takes 5 years. If I achieve this it will mean that (1) I have improved my skill set as coach and practitioner, (2) contributed to the state of the art of helping people to heal, and (3) be witness to many many people gaining and improving health.
Baltimore Magazine published it annual 30 Hot Singles. Some how I was over looked.
I must have been out of town.
Here is the correction to the oversight.
Gene Monterastelli (32)
Writer/Juggling Itinerate Preacher/EFT practitioner, single, no kids
Favorite book? The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho Celebrity lookalike? Melissa Etheridge Favorite breakfast cereal? Cinnamon Life, if I could get all my nutrition needs met from cereal I would eat it every meal. Not because I am lazy, but because I love it. When I'm not working, learning something new. Are you on a diet? I try and eat three times a day. If there's no chemistry on the first date I am happy to be out of the house. What's your least appealing quality? My penchant for chewing my toe nails. Okay, what's your most appealing quality? Acting with great passion. Favorite Christmas movie? Reservoir Dogs If all your exes could give you a nickname, what would it be? No idea, but my exes' mother's would call me "That nice boy." Favorite film? Touch of Evil Celebrity dream date? Debra Gibson or Pax Vega Favorite CD? Ceili Rain, Ceili Rain What's your ringtone? Phone on vibrate, ALWAYS! Who's the funniest human being alive? Steve Martin (look at his writing, please ignore his recent movies). Favorite vacation spot? Iceland, my spiritual homeland. What's your phobia? That no one is following me. Do you have a MySpace account? Where else would I put my senior picture and my pictures of me curling? Best gift you ever gave? 777 Hershey Kisses By the third date, I am amazed there isn't a restraining order. If you could have dinner with any three living people, who would they be? Karen Armstrong, Malcom Gladwell, and Sr. Helen Prejean How many people would you date at the same time? Two in the same calendar year would be an exciting improvement Love me, love my tendency to get lost in what is right in front of me. Do you consider yourself a grownup? It beats the alternative.
From time to time I am tempted, particularly when faced with something that I don't like, to say, "It has always been that way."
When I say something like, it is really an excuse not to change what is in front of me.
Really, any generalization is like this. Especially when talking about myself.
Boys never...
Girls always...
Italians are...
I have never been able to...
In my family we always/never...
When I do this I have given up my choice and given into the choice of the group.
It is just a way of taking the responsibly from myself and saying it is out of my control.
Which is not true.
Now, when I make one of those generalization I make myself add a phrase to end, "...and I consciously choose this as my reality."
All the choices I make about the world and myself are mine.
If the choice is mine, then I can't hide from my circumstance. I can't be a victim.
I must be in control of my own life.
[inspired by Caroline Myss | today's prayer]
One of the most amazing afternoons. I have never witnessed anything like this. I was asked recently what my top three days ever were. I couldn't come up with a list. I have done more than my share of amazing things. But nothing like this.
TWO GROUPS
Our group is really two groups. Which means girls were coming from two orphanages. One was 2 hours away, the other 5. So the girls arrived at different times.
The first group was to arrive at 330p. Brad, Joia, and I were there for moral support (and the play camera people). 5 girls were in the first group. Some were first time parents. Some had children of their own. Some had adopted from China before.
I was the official cameraman for a couple who had no children yet. As the husband was trying to explain how to turn the camera on he could barely speak.
Another woman turned to me and said, "My brother is here. My aunt and uncle are here. I wish my husband was here for this."
As we were waiting for the girls, our guide explained the food they are use to, how to make it, how to dress them here, and how to avoid the Chinese Grandmother Police (any grandmother will walk up to you and dress or undress your child to fit the temperature if you are not doing it right).
Then the girls arrive.
And so did the tears. I didn't even try to wipe them, I was on the job with the camera.
One at a time each couple was brought up and introduced to their daughter. A process that took 18 month (and for some years of frustration).
Tears and more tears.
At 530p group two gathered. This group is much larger. 9 girls in total. One by one names were called.
More smiles. More tears.
Brad and Joia were third. After a few pictures Ava just buried her head in to daddy's chest for safety. 20 minutes later she was hungrily drinking from a bottle.
From time to time we get to see friends or family grown. I saw it 14 times. Just today. In one room.
TRANSFORMATION
If you took a picture of any of the new parents from our group at 9am and 7pm today, they would look exactly the same. The four kids who are traveling with our group the same.
But they are different. Completely different. In a moment their lives were changed forever. For about half the group this is their first child. They are now parents.
It was fun to watch the three first time older siblings. Kissing their little sister on the face. Nussling up. Doing anything they can to help mom and dad.
This transformation isn't going to always be easy or always be fun. But they are new people, in an exciting scary way.
Ava and dad:
Lots of babies:
More photos (and Brad and Joia's thoughts on day one) here. (If they are not there yet, they will be soon.)
You are not the choices you made. You are not the memories you hold. That is who you were. It is not who you are.
You are who ever and what ever you choose to be in this moment. (There are limitless possibilities to choose from. Don't make the mistake of underestimate your greatness and your potential.) And if you don't like whom you have chosen to be in this moment, in the next moment simply choose be something else.
You are love. You are perfect. You are a child of God. Remember that when you choose in this moment (and in every moment) who you are going to be.
I had the blessing of spending the day witnessing the work of healing. Both physical and emotional pain. Someone asked, "Are you continually amazed by this?"
I thought of something I read recently, "The appropriate response to miracles is not awe, but thanks."
Whenever you question your value say: God is incomplete without me.
The Ascension
I simplely do not find my spiritual home in the Church, but it is also my place of work. Because of this many of my friends and loved ones also work in the institution. Sometimes this is a difficult thing. It is hard sometimes (read many time) to separate the people from the institution from the faith. It would be fair to say that over the last few years I have suffered an "institutional fitigue". I have seen, for many reason, friends lose jobs, offices close, and people hurt. It is hard to see friends who fight for the young church, over night without warning lose jobs.
Then their are moment like this morning. After a cup (well, two) of Costa Rica´s finest café (organico) con leche I walk across the street to Santa Elana Iglesia for mass.
LA IGLESIA
It is a simple wood church. Seating no more than 100. The only sign at the entrance informs that "you are entering the house of God, please turn off your cell phone." White cloth is hung with white and pink balloons celebrating the resurrection. Two gitarista a strumming while two damas sing the mass parts. Little old ladies are in the front saying a rosary. A picture of the last supper hangs above the presider's chair, slightly to the right (surprisingly Mary Magdalen is not in the picture). A simple tabernacle is to the side. The Christ in the is stations looks like those sitting in the pews, but Mary is surprisingly anglo. The congregation slowly fills in. Grandparents are kissed on the cheek. Greetings are offered to friends and strangers. Everyone who sits in my row shakes my hand and wishes me a good morning. Prayers are said quietly as children fidget. Most of the community is local, but a few extranjeros are sprinkled about. T-shirts reading "Junior pride 2004" and "Duke". All are welcome.
LA MISA
Hymens are song and the precession begins. Padre is led in by a single alter boy. Tiene 12 años. He yawns, unaware that everyone can see him. He rubs the cobwebs from his eyes.
Blessings and peace are offered.
We sit to hear our family stories.
We stand to hear more.
Reflections are offered. What is important? ¿dinero? (money) ¿cosas? (thinks) ¡no! Comunique paz. Comunique amor. At the simplest level it is not about authority or doctrine, but peace and love. Share it.
Oramos (we pray) for the church, the world, peace, heath, and the silent prayers we offer in our heart.
Gifts are giving.
Pan de vida: Blessing offered. Thanks given. Baked to be broken
Copa de vide: Blessings offered. Thanks given. Filled to be spilled.
Nuestro Padre: Hands are opened. Other grab loved ones by the hand and shoulders. The same ancient prayer. I don´t the words in Spanish, but I know the meaning by heart in my heart. Lord you are holy. We do not say this because you need to hear it, but because it is good we remind ourselves of that fact. Feed us today with simple bread. Offer us forgiveness in the way we forgive nuestro hermanos y hermanas. Lead us away form what is away from You. This we believe.
Peace is offered in kisses, hugs, hand shakes, and waves. The language doesn´t matter. We all know what we are saying. Everyone in arms length is touched. ¡Familia!
We move forward, not in order, but as we are ready. El courpo de Chirsto. Amen.
Silent thanks given on seats and on bended knee.
Announcements (¡claro qué sí!)
Heads bowed and eyes raised to heaven for blessings.
Song sung.
¡Estoy en mi casa con mi familia!
There will always be some level of absurdity to the highest articulation your soul is longing for.
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