J. K. Rowling did something amazing…created an ending (something David Chase couldn’t do) that was satisfying.
And did a good enough job of it, now that I have rushed through it to see how it ends, I am ready to reread it.
I have spent the last hour sitting in a coffee shop working on a stress management book. (Should be done in the next 6 weeks, stay tuned.)
One of the suggestions I am making is to choose the people you spend your time with carefully. We are affected by the people around us, for both better and worse.
Somewhere along the way I was introduced to the concept that we are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with. Not really a fact, but an interesting thought.
I know I am more likely to be happy when I am around people who enjoy life and visa versa.
That is case right here, right now. One of the young women working at this coffee house is simply effervescent. She is just bubbling with joy.
As I approached the counter and ask how she was, she bubbled, “Awesome!”
When one of her co-workers was spotted outside the window she rushed out to give here a hug.
When the mailman walked in she screamed, “Hello safari mailman!” referring to his hat. Causing a laugh from the staff and a big smile from the mailman.
You can’t help but to be in a good mood with this young woman in your space.
How are you affecting the people in your space?
In January I am heading back to Chimbote, Peru. You are more than welcome to join me.
Please e-mail if you are interested (email: gene at monterastelli dot com)
DATES
Jan 15 – arrive in Lima. Most flight from the US get in about midnight. (I will be outside of customs/immigration waiting for you)
Jan 16 – morning bus to Chimbote; afternoon/evening touring the area and meeting staff
Jan 17-21 – in Chimbote working at the church, seeing the city and surrounding area (including a day at the beach). Types of work could include (but not limited to) building projects, working in schools, at an aging home, and at medical centers.
Jan 22 – mid morning bus to Lima; evening in Lima
Jan 23 – tour of Lima (including a visit to St. Rose of Lima)
Jan 23 – late night flight home
Jan 24 – arrive home
If you would like to come early or stay late to see the wonders of Peru, you are more than welcome to.
COST
You will need to book your own airfare (more details to come on that in next few weeks). In addition you will need to pay $300-325 dollars.
This will cover:
* All housing in Lima (hotel) and Chimbote (parish dorms)
* All ground transportation
* Most meals (not included are dinners in Lima, and the few meals we will go out for in Chimbote. Most large meals in Peru will be less than $6)
* All supplies needed for the work we will do at the parish
* Tour around Lima.
When I was in Chimbote in May I spent less than $80 and $30 of that was in tips to two can drivers who had to endure a group of high school students singing musicals for three straight hours.
NOTE: This is not an organized trip. I am not getting paid in any way for my time or effort. I am doing this because I think you will love the experience. We are traveling as fellow travelers. I am willing to help out to insure that you as good as time a possible. We are doing this together. I am not leading you. You must be at least 20 years of age (or traveling with your parent/guardian).
Once is an aberration. Twice is a coincident. Three times is a pattern.
One of the things I fill my time with is teaching people a tool set which can improve a persons quality of life both physically and emotionally. (I also spend a number of hours a week working one on one with folks who know these tools.)
Typically, for no charge, I will teach people this tool set. As I have gotten better with the tool set (and gain confidence in the tool set and my ability to teach it) I have had more opportunities to share what has help me so much.
An interesting patter has formed. There has been a group of people who I have taught, who have seen the benefit of it in their life, who have decided it is not for them.
At first I took this as so sort of failure on my part. “I must have done something to turn them off to this very powerful tool,” would be the thought that would run through my head.
My point of view changed while working with a friend. Someone in her live had been hurt in a very violent way. The loved one was hundreds of miles away. She was disappointed in herself for not being to stop it from happening, she was sad for the attack, she was scared that her loved one was not going to seek the attention she needed out of fear, she felt helpless from such a great distance, she worried it would happen again, just to name a few of the emotions hurricaning through her head.
We agreed that I would come over in a few days so we could do some work. When I got to her place we talked about everything in the world, except what I had come for. This continued for almost 45 minutes. Finally I said, “Do you want to do this or not?” This was not said in frustration or anger, but from a place of wondering if she really was comfortable doing this work with me.
She hymed and hawed as she tried not answer. So I asked, “Why are afraid to do the work?”
“Because it is going to hurt. I know how raw my emotions are right now. I feel like I have let my loved on down. I don’t want to wander into that pain.”
All of that was fair. I asked her how large was all the emotions she was feeling (the emotions around her loved one plus the emotions around her fear of having to get into the problem). With here hands she showed something about the size of a beach ball.
We did some work on her fear of what we might uncover and how much it was going to hurt to dive into the emotions of the circumstance.
I then asked her how much emotion was left (in all areas). She gestured to show something about 30% of the size of the original.
This was an interesting insight for me. More than half of the emotion she was carrying was worry about the emotion she was carrying. Most of her negative energy around the subject had little to do with the incident itself, but her response.
Later as I reflected on this, it brought to mind all of the people (and myself included) who did not do work in some area of our lives because we were afraid what we were going to uncover about ourselves.
It is almost as if the crap I know right now is better than the crap around the corner. Sure my life isn’t perfect right now, but I can manage the pain and disappoint I am facing now.
If I go looking to change my life, who know what I am going to stir up.
This is not an indictment for not wanting to look under the bed to see what is really under there. We all have the choice to face or not face any part of our lives. That is the beauty of free will. We choose who we want to be. There are outcomes and consequences to those choices. Because of our unwillingness to face the ideas about ourselves and the world that hold us back, our lives are not going to change. And for better or worse that is our prerogative.
I have just found in my own life, no matter how scary it is at the time, in the long run it is better to get out the flash light and face what is hiding under the bed.
Little more than a week and all the questions will be answered. Thought I would share the theory I find most interesting. (It was offered by Keith Olberman of all people).
The scare on Harry’s head turns out to be the last Horcrux (this would explain his connection to Voldemort). They will be able to destroy it, but Harry will have to surrender all of his magical ability to do it. From a pragmatic point of view this allows Harry to make a great sacrifice, but you don’t have to kill him off.
Other thought that is my own: Peter Pettigrew (rat, aka Wormtail, Scabbers) is going to do something to help Harry out. Harry spared his life (in book 4 I think) and some how this is going to be significant.
Not that my opinion matters. But it is fun to guess.
In preparation for a keynote I am giving in October I found this.
Letting Go
by Suzanne Marshall Lucas
Giving up is merely quitting. Letting go is sweet release.
Giving up is cries of anguish. Letting go is perfect peace.
Giving up is hard and heavy. Letting go is loose and light.
Giving up is simply failure. Letting go, success in sight.
Letting go I train my blueprint for a perfect pure design.
Giving up is very human. Letting go is most Divine.
Giving up is death at sundown. Letting go, the Rising Sun.
Giving up is “there, it’s over.” Letting go, “I’ve just begun.”
“It’s kind of fun to do the impossible.”
-Walt Disney (1901 – 1966)
“It is easier to fight for one’s principles than to live up to them.”
-Alfred Adler (1870 – 1937)