"If you think you're doing well, ask yourself this critical thinking question: Compared to whom? The average person? The middle class? The world-class? Whom you compare yourself to will help you identify your current level of consciousness." - Steve Siebold, author, 177 Mental Toughness Secrets of the World Class
[via Beyond Marketing]
"To listen is to continually give up all expectation and to give our attention, completely and freshly, to what is before us, not really knowing what we will hear or what that will mean. In the practice of our days, to listen is to lean in, softly, with a willingness to be changed by what we hear." - Mark Nepo
[via Wisdom Quotes]
An odd game of tag has broken out on the blogosphere. Someone posts a question on their blog and then "tags" 5 people who are also blog to answer the same questions. If all goes well they also tag 5 people, creating a tree of responses. For some reason this is called a "meme".
In the past 7 days I was tagged byKaren (who was part of Brad and Joia's travel group to China) and Michael (the first person I met during orientation my freshman year off college).
Karen nominated me for a thinking blogger in her post"Aw-Shucks!". Basically, it is a list of 5 blogs that make you think. My 4 in no particular order (and yes I have posted about many of these before).
The Dilbert Blog: Scott Adams, the creator of Dilbert, blogs daily about what is on his mind. He is not afraid to take on touchy subjects. Half the time I think he is a total whack-job, but he is willing to change thoughts and beliefs we take for granted.
Seth Godin's blog: Seth is a marketing person. He has written a number of book that I like enough to own and go back to. He writes a lot about the creative process.
Thoughts On the Way: Cameron Conant is a Nashville based writer. He describes himself with the Maya Angelo thought, "I am not a Christian, but I am trying to be." Very open self-assessment of his own journey.
Beyond marketing: Joe Vitale is one of the most successful internet marketers of all time. His blog is very rarely about marketing. It is more about chasing dreams. From time to time he gets a little new-agey, but I love his willingness to chase dreams and challenge others to do the same. More than once a week something he rights causes me to change the way I am chasing my dreams.
Mike tagged me as part of Alex Shalman's
I have no shortage of goals, but I don't like the phrase of the question. It implies the only way I can say that I have lived the best possible life if I am able to check of certain things off a list. I do have such a list, but what is more important than doing certain things is how I think I will grow and change by trying to reach such goals. Also, the question doesn't take into account that the world and (hopefully) I am going to change. The list can't be static. Therefore any goal list I have today is subject to review as soon as lunch time.
Here are some goals I have and (more importantly) why:
40 countries by 40 (to count a country I must spend 7 nights in it): I love international travel because it makes me look at the world from a different point of view. It is easy to fall into the trap to assume my thoughts are the best thoughts because they are based on my experience, but that experience is so incomplete. By visiting other cultures I am forced to challenge my assumptions. By making myself stay 7 days I am more likely to wonder away from the tourist traps and see what that local culture is really like. By setting the goal of 40 by 40 it has created as sense of urgency. As I am planning each year it forces me to think creativity of where I would like to go and how I am going to get there. I am desperately behind because I keep going back to countries I like and still have much to learn from.
Appear on Fresh Air with Terry Gross: I will live a long and happy life if I never appear on any radio show, but I did this it would be I have created something very cool. Fresh Air doesn’t have your typical radio guest, whom are trying to sell something, but instead are movers and shakers in some field. They have written a book or created/starred in tv/movie that is thoughtful and meaningful. If I appeared on Fresh Air I will have created something that is meaningful to culture. I fancy myself a creative and hope to create something(s) that are thought provoking, healing and/or challenging.
Keynote NCCYM: It is an arrogant statement to say I have something to offer and to long for a particular stage. The group of people who adore more than any other are adults who take time to love and support young people. As we have crossed the country time and again I have been blessed with the opportunity meet and be touched by so many of these adults. They are underserved. Because of this it has driven me to write my first book, start an e-newsletter, and speak at retreats and training for nothing (next to nothing). If I reached this goal, it would mean that I have honed my craft to the point that others think I have something to offer on such a large prestigious stage. It would also mean I could stand in front of 2000 of these adults to tell them they are loved and even if no one back home ever says thank you, I do.
Become an EFT Master This is a training and working process that takes 5 years. If I achieve this it will mean that (1) I have improved my skill set as coach and practitioner, (2) contributed to the state of the art of helping people to heal, and (3) be witness to many many people gaining and improving health.
The week has been filled with commentary, prayers and hand wringing in the wake of the VT shooting.
Much of the commentary was made by folks who have no particular credential to comment on such things, but so goes the 24 hour news cycle.
If you can bare to read one more thing I would recommend Cinematic Clues To Understand The Slaughter by Steven Hunter.
Steven is a Pulitzer Prize winning writer on film critique and has written a number of novels based on violent characters (one of his books was the basis for the Mark Walberg vehicle "Shooter").
The column is not alarmist about pop culture and doesn't jump to any ridicules conclusions. It is just one more point of view as we try and understand what has happened.
Stilling trying to find which way is up. Was home for 30 hours before flying to KS for a week of work here.
Some how managed a 2 hour nap this afternoon (which was needed).
Lots have asked how they can help with the folks I visited in Peru. There are a few ways. You can give a onetime donations or you can give a monthly donation that would be paired with someone (or a family) specifically.
Donations can be made by sending a regular check in US dollars payable to Fr. Jack Davis at:
Fr. Jack Davis
Parish of Nuestra Senora del Perpetuo Socorro
Apartado Postal 134
Chimbote, Peru
If you would like to do a regular monthly donation, send me a note and I can point you in the right direction (I don't want to put e-mail address on-line for spamers).
Made it to my place by 130p today. Since being home I have managed a shower, two naps, picking up mail, and eating a little.
BUS RIDE
With the strike the plan was to catch the 1030a bus from Chimbote to Lima. I was up early and went on a 6am with Padre. He walks to exersize a little, bring a start to the day and say "good morning" 65 times.
Just one more way to stay present.
After the walk I grab a little breakfast and then encouraged the chicos to be ready for our 930 trip to the bus stations.
Hugs and kisses good by to the staff and off to the bus station.
Once at the station we found out the bus was going to be 90 min late (which really means 2 hours). During the strike, the strikers created road blocks out of boulders all over the state. Because of this, the bus got a late start. Since we were the third stop it was way behind.
The bus was by far the nicest I have ever ridden in Latin America. We were served a meal, they showed two movies, and we played bingo for a free bus ticket. To be honest it was the nicest public bus I have ever taken in my life.
It took close to 6 hours to get to Lima. Our ride was waiting for us at the bus station and it was off to the airport (45 min away).
LOS CHICOS
To get to the airport we were in two vans. The group I was with sang the whole way to the airport. Beatles. Liturgical stuff. Lots of show tunes.
In that moment I realized how much I had grown to really enjoy them.
I found myself on a number of occasions at the parocia referring to them as "my chicos" when talking to other volunteers and the staff.
It was a real blessing to spend the weekend with them.
SOCKS
Once we got to the airport we check in, grabbed a meal. I think I was the only one who didn't eat at McDonald's or Papa John's.
Passed through security.
Since I was on a different airlines, we said our good byes.
Jumped on the plane. My flight to Houston was at 1140p. When the stewardess came around to ask my dinner choice before take off, I said, "If I am awake, a glass of water would be great."
The next thing I knew I was waking up one hour out side of Houston.
Breezed through customs.
Jumped on the flight to Baltimore.
Once seated I changed my socks. I had been wearing hiking boots for the last 24 hours (minus the few hours I slept on the last flight) and had packed extra socks in my backpack for just this.
I can only image what the guy next to me was thinking as I did this.
DID I LEARN NOTHING?
So I have this ridicules beard. I haven't shaved in over 10 days, but I can't really grow facial hair.
It is patchy, like I have been attacked by a can of Nare.
I kinda like the beard and thought, "You know I should get a beard and mustache trimmer. Maybe I can make this shag look respectable."
On the way home from the airport I stopped at WalMart to buy one. I dug out my cash (money from before the trip and money from the trip).
I was sorting through the cash to see how much I had, and thinking how much I would be willing to spend on such a device.
It all hit me once.
What was I thinking. I might use something like this 10 times in the next 10 years.
I don't need this. This money could be used some much better.
Standing in the middle of the parking lot, I felt like such a fool.
I am such a work in progress.
The strike didn´t break, so we spent one more day in Chimbote.
It was a very low key day. The choicos visted a home for mental disable women which is run by the little sister of the poor.
I stayed behind and work with a volunteer who is heading back to England in July after being here a year. We spent some time on what the transition was going to be like and what she would be doing next with her life.
The afternoon was quiet. A group of kids from the neighborhood came over and the chicos taught them how to play baseball (sort of). There was lots of napping and packing. I don´t think the group could have handled much more.
We were thanked and blessed at mass.
About 1030 Padre and I went to visit a very disturbed young man. He is 33. Was abused as a child and hasn´t been the same since is monther´s death 12 years ago. Padre calls him his biggest cross. After living here for a week that is profound statement.
I talked with him a while, we did a little work, and we prayed.
Please keep Calvin in your prayers.
Bus at 1030a today. Dinner in Lima then off to the airport for a late flight. Should be at my home by 2p on Saturday.
Many have asked about making donations. I will post on Sunday on all the options you have. Also, I am thinking an adult trip down here in December. Keep an eye for more detail.
Pray for safe travels and the people of Chimbote.
The days are starting to get a bit of a rhythm here. Breakfast, work, lunch, nap, work, shower, dinner.
We worked at a few houses yesterday and started work on a day care. Lots of hard labor. A group of us spent three hours just picking rocks large and small to clear an area for playground.
For some in our group is was the best day of work because they felt like they had really done work. Progress could be seen. Work lasted more than a couple of hours. There was direction.
Work is done in a much different fashion. Little is done efficiently. Lots of waiting as one thing needs to get done, when if done in a different order everyone could be working more and faster.
It is an interesting lesson to process. To feel useful in a place that is so inefficient.
GOOD BYE?
They had a small going away party for us last night. Two choirs sang. One was filled with former gang members. Padre told us that 15 months ago these guys were on national TV drunk and/or stoned talking about how they like to kill people.
Last night they were singing songs about the Word of God to a bunch of American kids.
We are suppose to be packing up this morning and heading to Lima for a day of sightseeing before fling home tomorrow night.
Yesterday and today there had been a regional strike (Pare Regional). Meaning nothing was yesterday or will be today open in the whole state. Therefore there is no bus for us to catch today.
Our group has taken it all in stride.
MOUNTAIN
After breakfast yesterday we went the near by mountain to look over the city. The path up the mountain is also the way of the cross. They have all fourteen station on the way up to the small chapel.
Each year on good Friday 20,000 people make the walk.
At the top is a beautiful little chapel that from time to time Padre takes youth on retreat two. For there you can see the whole city (400,000 and no building over 6 stories), the bay, the islands at the edge of the bay and all the fishing boats coming and going. There is also sand and nothingness as far as the eye can see.
A FIRST FOR ME
After a stop for lunch on the way back to the church we headed in to homes. We were broken into small groups and each group had a local social worker with them. The social worker took us into a home to see how the people in the barrio live. Thatch wall, dirt floors, sharing bed rooms, a radio, cooking with charcoal that is toxic.
You can´t call moments like this good, or fun, but it was eye opening.
Then our group visited a battered women´s shelter. Three rooms. Two had families (mothers and their children) and the third had a thirteen year old girl. She had the sweetest smile, was a little embarrassed that we saw her unmade bad. You wanted to just hug her.
Then in a moment it all struck me. Her full circumstance. 13 and no were else to go. It wasn´t that she was receiving poor care (the care was great), but that she had to be their.
It was the first moment I almost lost it into tears on the trip.
CHICOS
The students we travel with continue to do great. They are mixing well with each other, and good fun to be with.
The main reason I came on this trip was to see (and maybe help) their transformation. But I wonder if my expectations are too high.
One moment they are getting it. We are walking out of a house in which we have learned that for $180 the family would get a stove and burner so that they would not be cooking with toxic bricks. By the time we are back to the church they have a plan to raise the money.
The next moment they are commenting on how much money an artist made off them today, when he came by to make paintings for them. Almost as if they were taken advantage of (the painter received $60 for a days work).
In those moments I know I need to catch myself. I need to remember I am still learning. Need to remember that I don´t have all the answers. Need to remember where I would have been at 17 in this context.
The hope of a trip like this is to change perspective a little. To open the eyes just a little.
If that happens, then maybe we will all be open to acting with a little more love the next time we are confronted with Body of Christ, not just in poor, but with everyone in our lives.
That is the way everyone is treated here at the church, with dignity.
The only way to describe it is through an example. Miguel is a young man who has a very rough home life and has some mental challenges. If you were to walk into any mass here at Nuestra Señora del Perpetuo Socorro you would think he is directing the choir.
You would think this because he is standing in front of the choir waving his arms, in time, with perfect rhythm.
But he is not directing the choir. That is done by the man play guitar.
In most context Miguel would shot off. He doesn´t belong.
Not here. He is causing no trouble. He is not in the way. Why takes his joy? Why cause problems?
Just meet him were here is.
Show him that he is loved.
It would drive me crazy to have this going on in the middle of doing something “important”. I would want to stop it.
Not here.
Not when he is seen through the eyes of love.
Lesson from Easter Monday: How to give dignity, or more precisely how to see people with the dignity they deserve. It is isn´t something you give.
I am the first one up, breakfast isn´t for an hour so I thought I would write a little more.
LANGUAGE
Of the twelve of us down here my Spanish is some where in the middle of the (maybe forth, fifth or sixth best). But it hasn´t stopped my from jumping in and trying. For some reason I feel like me Spanish is much better than it was a year ago, which is odd because I haven´t practiced at all.
Also, I think it might be because I am in charge and people are looking to me to lead, even if there Spanish is better. My desire to make sure everyone is okey is over riding my uncomfortableness with the language.
I haven´t said anything too stupid yet, but the guy on the work site we were at on Saturday thought it was very funny that I introduced my as Genio, and really loved calling me it. (The soft g is very hard for Spanish speakers to say. Eugene=Eugenio, but since I go be Gene I shorten Eugenio to genio, which means genius in Spanish).
EASTER MASS
Last night there was Easter mass and one of the guys in the group wanted to go while the others were playing cards. So, I joined him.
I haven´t shaved in about a 7 days. I don’t have a beard by any stretch of the imagination (so day I will make it all the way through puberty), but I have more facial hair than the whole country of Peru combined). During the kiss of peace the 4 middle school girls who were in front of us all giggled and were shocked at the same time as we went cheek to cheek.
Who knew that I would be broadening people cultural horizons by my half beard.
CANTAMOS
We had hymn books for mass last night, which was great. I am more likely to understand when I can hear and read at the same time. An 8 year old ended up sitting next to me at mass (with her 11 year old next). We had two hymn books between the three of us and we shared.
The music was contemporary, included the Holy Holy Holy sung to the tune of Hey Jude (at the Vigil the Our Father was song to a Simon and Garfunkel song that is escaping me right now). The choir was awesome, and we just sang our hearts out.
It was just a great moment for me. Sitting with these two people of different age, language, culture, gender, and economic status. None of it mattered. We were community (familia) like we are suppose to be when gather around the table.
REFLEXTION
Last night was our first chance as a group to reflect on the experience, since seeing the area and doing some work. We gathered on the roof of the dorm.
Expectations? Surprises? Thankfulness?
All the answers surprised me, but none of them did. The group is so perceptive and has such big hearts. The perspective (at least in the moment) of how they see their home differently than just two days ago.
Thankful for water, education, my parents, safety, time to play.
HOY
Plan for today is work in the morning, a local market in the afternoon, more work in the evening.
The alarm went of at 320am. I went downstairs to make a cup of coffee. I made sure the chicos were up and then headed to the front of the church. The alter and seats were set out ready for the vigil mass.
Everything runs on its own time, so by 405am we were ready to start. At this point the only light was a huge bon fire by the front gate, were song sheets and candle were being distributed.
For the next 3h 30m we enjoy the breaking of the day and resurrection of the Lord. People were baptized. Bread was broken. Thanks given. Prayers requested. Kiss of peace offered. The youth choir sang (like angles, who have electric guitars).
Right as the host was lifted, day broke. Because we are so close to the equator (10 degrees south) there is no creep into the new day. Just the light switch flipped and it day.
As mass ended the skies broke with a light rain. It never rains here. Ever. (and it is the only place I have ever been were people think the ran is bad, mostly because it destroys the thatch houses.)
Quickly we cleared the alter and the pews.
Easter Vigil is for the hard core. There is no doubt about it. No matter the time. Or how long. It was so beautiful to be here with these people for the mass.
So welcoming.
PLAYA
The crew headed to bed after a little breakfast. I stayed up and taught two more of the chicas how to play cribbage. Then we headed to the beach.
To get to the beach we had to drive through some of the poorest neighborhoods I have been in in my life (the one we are staying in). Context: Chimbote is a town of 400,000 and it can´t support an airport with any flight a week. None. It is not financially feasible.
The beach we went to was amazing. Huge waves and no one there. Miles and miles of rocks and beach. We had lunch in a mall restaurant on the beach, then walked up and down. I have been to a lot of beautiful places in the world. Most of the time I feel like the path had been walked before. No here. I felt like I was first person to see this land.
We sent 4 hours, just hanging out and talking about life.
More reflections from Fr. Jack.
He hasn´t had a day off since Oct (which he knows is stupid and not healthy).
Sharing what it is like to have every person walks up to wanting and needing something. They are coming because they know cares and would be willing to help. But even he needs space.
Talked about the two hour walk to the beach. By the time you get to the beach no matter what problems you have, they are in perspective because you see the beauty.
Conversations with the revolutionaries. They wanted to kill the drug dealers. He was in for loving them to life change.
All of this on beautiful beaches.
GOOD FRIDAY
After dinner we enjoyed the Good Friday service. It was fun to see parish life is the same everywhere.
Technical problems with the power point. One microphone turned up too loud. Regular parishioners reading the Passion. Lots of waving and hand gestures trying to get everyone in the right place.
One the teens in our group is a freshman, and young looking at that. A group of 13 year old girls took a shine to him during mass. They batted their eyes, smiled, waved, blew him kisses, asked him question. He handled it with such dignity and grace. Not that, that sort of thing happened to me as a 15 year old, but I wouldn´t have handled it as well.
Good music and good fellowship was experienced by all.
THIS IS HOW IT IS
Our host is Fr. Jack. He is a diocesan priest from the diocese of Fargo. He had been here 38 years.
To call him an amazing man would be an understatement.
After breakfast he gave us a tour of some of the over 20 projects they manage.
Everything he says, no matter how jarring it might sound to a non-local, he says just as fact, much the way someone would tell you the time.
“On this corner a 15 year old was shot”
“That guy over there who didn´t wave, he is responsible for two killing in the last year”
“If there were to catch on fire, the whole block would go up in flames.”
I have been around this setting before, so it is not so jarring for me, but some of the students who are with us, it is a new experience.
I am glad he is not candy coating anything (not that he would know how). It is the reality, which we are here to learn about.
We heard stories of work that was given to one gang (cleaning a park I think) and the rival gang next door was mad. Se he created a project for them. In his own words, 70% of the money is used on drugs. That doesn´t phase him, because he is giving a step up to some.
We learned a little of the economics of poverty today (even if that wasn´t the intended lesson). For about $2.50 you can buy a bundle of straw. Three days of work to make 500m of rope. Sold in the market place for $10.00. It is hard to get a step up when you are making $2.50 a day for hard work.
OUR WORK
We spent the working part of the day on two houses. The basic house of the poor is dirt floor with thatched walls and roof. The termites eat the wood and the sea breeze rusts the nails. From time to time a home simply needs to be rebuilt. So we pulled the rotting walls and ceiling and put up new ones.
The work wasn´t hard, but it was eye opening.
HIGHLIGHT
I know that when I write from the road it is typically more up beat.
Not that today was a bad day.
It was a good day of work and friends. Lots of smiles and hugs were shared with each other and the Peruvian people.
There just wasn´t anything particularly funny that happened today.
The highlight of the day is simple, the young people I am with. They have thrown themselves head first in to the work and place that is very much out side their comfort zone. They have handled the change of plans and lack of plans so well.
At the afternoon work site there wasn´t enough work for all of us, so a group just headed out in to the street and started playing with the kids. Didn´t need encouragement. They just did it.
We are here and alive.
Long flights down.
Longer bus ride here.
We are in Chimbote. North of Lima.
We arrived in time for dinner. Good Friday service will start in 30ish (hora Perunian).
Traveling with a great group. The other three adults have never lead a group out of the county, so they have put me in charge of lots of things. Which is fine.
Highlight of day 1 was standing in line at customs last night. A 14 year old American girl turns to here father who is checking is BlackBerry, “Dad you can do that when we get back to NY. Just throw it away!”
More to come in the morning.
¡Voy a ir Peru!
Off to Peru tomorrow to build huts.
Rumor has it there is a computer were we are staying, therefore updates to come from south of the Equator.
We had the weekend off. For a break from youth rallies and youth events I spent Saturday as a volunteer at the a local youth event.
I spent the day putting up signs, dashing to the store for supplies, handing out granola bars, and giving directions to groups as they moved from one station to the next (as well as many other tasks).
It was lots of fun (I enjoy behind the scenes as much as stage) and much more tiring than the normal work we do.
At one point one of the adults who was chaperoning a youth group asked me if I was part of APeX. She then explained that she was now 25 and a regularly work with the youth at her parish and that she remembers seeing us in High School.
Most people whom I have told this story to have responded with, "Doesn't that make you feel old?"
That thought couldn't have been further from my mind. My first thought was, "Wow! Someone remembered us."
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