Brother Blue

I have been meditating a lot lately on His statement, “you will do these and greater thing.” After He performs a miracle, a miracle, he says, “you will do these things and greater.”
Do I believe this? If you looked at my life, you would have to say I don’t. I don’t believe I can do miracles. I would like to do miracles, but believe it? No.
Over and over again He said, “It is because of your faith“. She thought, “All I need to do is touch the hem of his cloak.” There was even a time when He couldn’t do a miracle because of “their lack of faith.” Even He couldn’t do it with out their belief.
I guess the conclusion is this…we can do miracles, but we don’t because we believe we can’t. We stop ourselves. I know this is true for me for things much smaller than miracles. Because I don’t believe I can do it, I give half hearted effort, and I fail.
“You will do these things and greater!”
Will you?

My favorite author Paulo Coelho, in the introduction to one of his books, re-writes the line “knock and it shall be opened,” to read, “when you desire something the entire universe conspires to make it happen.” It is a beautiful image. It is as if there are invisible cogs and wheels which start moving and spinning to rearrange the universe for our desires to be fulfilled.
I believe this. There have been way too many “coincidences” in my life for this not to be true. The place that I often fall down in my own prayer life in making this happen is I limit the way these thing will manifest themselves for me. Not only do I say what I want, but I think I know the best way for these things to happen. Sure, I might know “a” way for it to happen, but my imagination is far too limited to understand all the amazing ways for something to come true.
For example (and a trite one at that). I may need a car in order to get to work to support my family, but I have a clunker. Also, money is tight and there is no way to afford a new one. My desire is a working car (not new, but new to me). I can pray for the ability to buy a new car, but by doing that I have limited the way God can work in my life. I don’t want to afford a new car, I just want the car. There are lots of other ways the car could appear in my life. It could be a gift, a prize, an inheritance, or a friend who is leaving town for the next six months who needs someone to look after his car while he is gone. All of these are great solutions, because I need up with what I needed.
In order to help myself to be open all the actual grace that the Lord continues to pour out on me (much of which I miss because I am expecting it in only one or two ways) I have changed the way I pray. First, before I decided if it is really something I want to come into my life. I can say the words I want something, but God knows what is really in my heart. If I don’t truly desire it, then it is hallow words, not a sincere prayer. I also try understand what I really want. I don’t want the particular means to an outcome. What I really want in the outcome. I make sure I am naming the out come I want. Second, I try to understand that my life is not going to end if the prayer is not answered. Desperation only creates desperation, not the fulfillment of prayer. Third, I don’t limit how my desire is going to fulfilled; acknowledging God’s imagination and creativity surpasses mine. Finally, I close my eyes and just fell the outcome happening in my life. I feel what it is like have the prayer answered. Our mind does not know the difference between what is happening in the world and what happens in a dream. It thinks both experiences are equally real. If not just see, but feel what it is like to have my prayer answered in some way it is. In the car example, if I am feeling a great deal of stress because my car is always on the edge of die, one of the reasons I want a new car is piece of mind. If I close my eyes and feel myself driving the new car. I can hear the radio, feel the new car hugging the turns, and not hear the old engine clank my stress level will drop for a moment. As my stress level drops, I am no not thinking of how bad it is, but open myself to seeing the possibilities of my prayer being answered around me in unexpected ways.
For example, this is the prayer I am saying a number of times a day right now. My two closest friends in the world are adopting from China. My hopes (and theirs as well) is that I am able to join them on the trip. The problem our work schedule, we book events as far as 18 months out. The notification to head to China will come only six weeks before we would leave. I would love to go, but I am not going to miss the commitments we have already made. My prayer is this:
“You know God it would be really cool if Brad and Joia’s adoption went through at a time in which I could join them on the trip, [ A statement of what I want without saying it is an imperative], but I understand that no matter when the adoption happens only good can come out if it and good I could never dream. [I acknowledge that it is not the end of the world if I don't go. Sure it will be a little tough to do some work without Brad and it would be awesome to go to China for two weeks, but a little girl is going to get a new start and my friends family is going to grow in a beautiful way.] Lord, help me to keep my eyes open to see the actual grace you provide in our lives so I do not limit your power or creativity. [I think that is self explanatory.]” Then I close my eyes feel what it is like get on the plane with my friends. I see walk though security. I buy a newspaper. I hear my row called. I smile at the gate agent as I give her my ticket. We sit in our seats. I hear the excitement of everyone on the plane. Then I let it go. I (try to) get out of God’s way.

It is impossible to stand still, relatively speaking. Even if we are not moving, the world is constantly moving and changing around us. We are either moving towards what we want or moving away for it.

“There are 44 million child labourers in India…Every day in India, millions of children who should be at school are sent out to work. For most of them, it is a matter of necessity. In a country where two in five people live in abject poverty, getting enough money to feed and clothe family can be difficult…Worldwide ILO [The UN International Labour Organization] estimates that there are 246 million child labourers are aged between five and seventeen. Of those, 171 million are working in hazardous situations; roughly 8.4 million are involved in what the ILO terms ‘the unconditional worst forms of child labour’, including forced and bonded labour, armed conflict, prostitution and pornography and other illicit activities” – quoted from “50 Facts That Should Change The World” by Jessica Williams
[Info @ 50 Facts That Should Change The World]

“Every week, an average of 88 children are expelled from American schools for bringing a gun to class…A survey by the US National Institute of Child Health and Human Development suggest that nearly a quarter of the boys had carried a weapon (a gun, knife, or club) in the past month, and some fifteen per cent – nearly 2 million students – had taken one to school. Another study by the non-profit Josephson Institute of Ethics reported that almost half of high school students said they could get a gun if they wanted to…When homicide, suicide and accidental death are taken into account, the death rate from guns in the US is by far the highest in the developed world; one study found that, for children under fifteen, the firearm-related death rate in the US was nearly twelve times higher than the average of 25 other industrialized countries.” – quoted from “50 Facts That Should Change The World” by Jessica Williams
[Info @ 50 Facts That Should Change The World]

If there is one thing that I have learned from making a living on stage it is this: If you practice things going wrong, when they do go wrong you are more likely to deal with them gracefully. This doesn’t mean that you are going to deal with every catastrophe well, but you have a much chance of surviving.
I use this tact many areas of my life. I spend hours a week pretending I am in all sorts of situation. I pretend I am meeting people I admire in the airport. I pretend I am being confronted about some issue. I pretend I am being interviewed by Oprah about my new book. Sometimes I pretend it is working out for the best. Other times I make it go horribly wrong to see how I will handle it. I know these little psychodramas have served me well.
This morning, while running to the post office, I ended one of these little plays with me screaming and yelling self-righteously. I liked the point I was making, though my form could use some work.
In the rant, I referenced a book I bought back in October. I believe it is the most dangerous (in a good way) book that will never be read. It is filled with information that it hard to unlearn, which forced me to re-look at the world and my actions in it. The book is 50 Facts That Should Change The World by Jessica Williams of the BBC. This week I am going to share 5 of the 50 facts. I want the facts of the book to stand-alone. I will save my commentary about my poor response for Part VI.
Facts from the book: “Every 14 seconds, a young person becomes infected by the HIV virus… At the time of writing, 36 million people are living with HIV or AIDS. Sub-Saharan Africa has been hit the hardest. More than 20 million people there have died from AIDS, and 12 million children have been orphaned by the disease…[UN] Secretary-General Annan estimates that $7-10 billion is needed each year to address the in the low to middle income countries. Yet the world spends $2 billion every day funding its military efforts.”
Facts for context: Population of the US approximately 295 million; Population of California just short of 36 million; Population of Canada 32.2 million; Population of Iowa, Nevada, new Hampshire, New Mexico, Oklahoma, Tennessee, and Wyoming combined approximately 20 million; Population of Ohio 11.4 million; Population of Pennsylvania 12.4 Million
[Info @ 50 Facts That Should Change The World]