Send Me
This weekend we were up in Prince George, BC. It is a beautiful place. Timberland. It is a place that is so still. Even when there is noise, there is a stillness that is so powerful, it is almost unsettling, but once you are use to is it is very comforting.
The last time I was in Prince George was four years ago. I was living in my car at the time, on pilgrimage. I had pared my life down to a carload of stuff and just set out from gig to gig. By the time I made it to Prince George I had been on the road for about three months. It was a wonderful time of pray and reflection to see what I need in life. I guess some of that has taken root. Four years later all that I own now fits in a 8′ x 10′ room. If I didn’t own so many books, it would take up less room.
I can remember going to daily mass when I was in PG in 2001. Before mass I was kneeling, saying my prayers. As the sun was rising, it came in the window right into my eyes. All I could do to concentrate was squeeze my eyes tight. Since I was on pilgrimage I was praying for direction. Not having anything to profound to pray (and not being patient enough to just listen) I just prayed over and over again “Send me! Send me”. (In hindsight, it appears to be a bit of a overly self important prayer.) As I prayed I started to get a sense of all the places I could be sent. All of which were way outside my comfort zone (and many still are). My prayer quickly changed. Muchg more humbly it became, “Send me grace! Send me strength! Send me courage! Send me hope! Send me wisdom!”