Brother Blue

There is Truth out there. A Universal Truth. The way in which all things are suppose to work. In harmony. Many theologians would refer to “God’s will.” Though I don’t know if God actual can have will(desire)? I think it is more of nature God. God supplely is. Which is everything.
Even though there is Truth, because of our free will, we do not have to accept this Truth. That does not mean that the Truth goes away, or that we can create our own Truth. It means that we can choose weather or not we will acknowledge the universal Truth. For analogy consider a light. I can be sitting in a room with a light that is on. I can then close my eyes and cover my eye sockets with my hands, making it impossible for me to perceive any light at all. I have not made the light go away, but I am refusing to acknowledge it, and living as if it wasn’t there. There is no way in which we can make Truth go away. We choose if we are going to live in harmony with Truth or in conflict with Truth.
The situation even becomes more complicated by the fact that none of us (or a least I don’t) understand the fullness of Truth. I would be willing to bet that in my short time on this Earth I am never going to understand the fullness of Truth (not that I am not trying, but I just have this hunch I am never going to get there). So that means that I am working from an incomplete understanding of Truth. I am comfortable with that. My hope is that with every action I make (which doesn’t happen) that I articulate in the fullness that I understand it. At the same time I hope that I am continuing to learn from my experience. I hope that I am continuing to gain a greater understanding of Truth, so that the next time I act, I do it more in harmony with God’s will/the supernatural/Truth (what ever word works best).
I am comfortable with all of that. I don’t loose sleep over the fact that I don’t fully understand the nature of existence. And I hope that I am not so comfortable with the fact that I will never fully understand truth, that I have stop striving to grow to greater understanding. The problem comes when the question comes, “How do I share (evangelize) the truth that I understand, being that it is flawed and incomplete?” I believe that by living the Truth, as I understand it, in the actions I make is by far the best method. Then it is not just words, but an articulation in life, for then it much less trying to share, but instead just trying to get on the best I can in my life. But beyond that what?
I know my skin starts to curl anytime some starts talking in terms of, “This is Truth!” I will also admit that I am a great offender of these types of statement. I know that in my own life will look down on others as being closed minded when they fervently profess “truth” I disagree with, but in turn will speak in the same absolutes.
There are times when I have to work so hard to self censor myself (and my arrogance). Recently, I went through the experience of listening to a talk I had given. There were two things I noticed. One, it was the first time I had given the talk and the first 15 minutes were really poor. Second, I was amazed that the number of times I had to correct myself. Statements that began, “You need to…” which changed to “I have learned in my own life…”
I guess it comes down to this: How do I balance 1) the understanding that I am not (and never going to be) the keeper of who gets into Heaven 2) I think I am suppose to share the truth that I understand and 3) that my understanding of Truth will always be flawed, that I need to not only shear, but try and learn?
I have no answer to that question.

I have come to realize (once again) that often we do not disagree, but are simply looking at the same thing in different ways. Yes, I understand this is anything, but earth shattering. It has simply come to light once again.
[Please note: This is an over simplification. But in the end all systems we create to understand the world are really over simplification, but that does not mean they are not useful systems.]
I was thinking about myself and two of my dearest friends. In the end, we are looking at the same universal “Truth,” we are just looking at it through different lenses. The way that I deconstruct the world is in terms of identity. Who am I? What does it mean to be the Body of Christ? What is my vocation? What is the work I am to do? How do I use my giftedness? It is very much an incarnation understanding. One of my friends processes the world in terms of what is truth. What is eternal and knowable? What is our nature? My other friend uses the lens of relationship. Who are we in how we care for and love each other?
In the end all three of these are the exact same thing. They quests to understand what it means to be human. They are all equally valid. They are just different questions (for different personalities) which lead us to the same understand of what it means to be Children of God. I am certain that there must be more than just these three dispositions. I am sure the world would not function if there was only one. Each different disposition informs other. When all is well, they work in concert. The difficulties come when we are unable to appreciate or understand the other disposition (which is hard to see through another’s eyes and experience).

Orson Wells as Harry Line in The Third Man
“In Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, bloodshed – and produced Michelangelo, Leonardo De Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love, 500 years of democracy and peace – and what did it produce? The cuckoo clock.”
I have reflections on this, but need to sleep. Thoughts to come…

I have been recognized on the street less than ten times in my life. I understand that I am not famous (a fact I love). But this is just perfect…
This week a work camp is going in Washington, DC that I help out. I needed one of the high school students to take a bunch of pictures during the talent show, while I worked on something else. I decided to pick a young woman who what sitting in the front row who was wearing one of our t-shirts (a very new looking black APeX shirt). After the talent show as I approached her I over heard her saying to a friend, “I can’t leave yet. I need to return this camera to that guy.”

The owner of Innovation Studios, Mike Ofac (producer and engineer extraordinary), has new album Words You Can Live By . It is for all of you who like that rockin’ guitar music. And who doesn’t like rockin’ guitar music?

The things that have kept me up at night:
1982 (2nd grade): Killer Bees (I was stung when I was 2.)
1983 – 4 (3rd and 4th grades): Nuclear(sp?) War (I can really remember laying up at night with this fear. Big bright light, melting flesh, the who nine years.).
1985 – present: Mark 10:17-25 or Mat 19:16-24 (I can still remember the first time I heard this. I was sitting in Our Lady of Fatima church. My soul shuttered. I know this was going to be my struggle for life. The struggle of letting go.)
As time passes, I am learning more and more that it is not only my (material) riches that I must surrender. I must surrender all the riches in my life (such as giftedness). I know I so often cling to my abilities in this world to find happiness and to find my place. In the end, fulfillment does not come from what I have (or can do). It comes from following the Holy Spirit which resides in my soul, pulling me closer to God.
It is very hard, when I can do much (have much), to turn over my life to what I am made for.** Not what I can do, but who I am. I am a shard of the supernatural. This precedes my work, my relationships, and my wants. I know I can only find joy when the longings of my soul are honored, which is when I unabashedly live the truth (as incomplete as it is) my soul understands, regardless of where that may lead.
**Please don’t cry for my giftedness. It is not a burden, but a great blessings.

I am speaking in Atlanta tomorrow night. I think I am going to use this quote. It is from the speech “The Man in the Arena” given in at the Sorbonne in Paris, France April 23, 1910 by Theodore Roosevelt. I found three different versions of the quote on line. All about the same (plus or minus a few words).
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

Here are two live MP3’s of my favorite rockstar, Joia Farmer (w/ Edwin Trahan on bass)
Be Thou My Vision
Lost & Found: A Prodigal Daughter

This weekend I was helping out with a conference in DC. The only time I took the mic was to give instruction on the best way to get to the fireworks down town. When I was done I young man came up to me and said, “Bob! Bob!” I looked perplexed (as you could image). He continued, “Are you Bob Lesnefsky?”
This is who I was confused for.

“If we only knew how much God loved us, we would all be saints.”
Someone who is not me