Brother Blue

Tunes for a Spring day (or at least it feels like Spring here).
Come on Eileen – Dexy’s Midnight Runners & Kevin Rowland – 1982
Tunnel of Love – Bruce Springsteen – 1987
Always the Last to Know (Single Mix) – Del Amitri – 1998
Hello Cruel World – E – 1992
Cantaloop (Flip Fantasia) – US3 – 1993
The Way It Is – Bruce Hornsby – 1986
Regret – New Order – 1993
Wicked Game – Chris Isaak – 1989
Harder to Breathe – Maroon 5 – 2002
Just a Girl – No Doubt – 1995

Find out what kind of Super Hero you are by taking the test. This is how I scored:

[via Empowerment Illustrated]

It is physically impossible to clean your ears with a cotton swab and swish mouth wash at the same time.

Right now I have committed myself to a professional project in a way that I have never before. I have certainly worked longer hours back in my corporate days (sometimes as many as 120 hours a week). Not only am I working on something “professional” it is turning into a real labor of love. I writing for two or three hours a day (plus equal amount of research). I have written a lot in my past (mostly in college), but this is different. Each time I finish a writing session I feel as if my brain has been rung out. It is as if the instant I finish I am grasping for oxygen, like I had been working under water.
This as effected me in an unexpected way. My personally is basically equal parts introvert and extrovert. I get energy from being alone as well as with people. After a long weekend on the road of work, where I have been talking to people non stop I need to hide in my room and decompress for a day or to recover. On the flip side if I spend to much time home alone I start to get moody and run down. What has been so interesting about this writing, be that it is not of a technical nature like my computer science thesis, is that it is taking all my extroverted energy. Even though I have not been around people, it is requiring period of decompression.

Everyday, in the afternoon, a boy left his family farm (and his chores) and ventured off into the woods. Fifteen minutes latter he would come back. His father noticed this pattern. After a while he started to worry.
“Son, why are going off into the woods each day.”
The boy replied, “I go off to talk to God.”
“But God is everywhere. You don’t need to go to the woods to talk to him.”
The boy was wise beyond his few year, and he knew this, but he replies, “I know God is everywhere, but I am different in the woods.”
I know in my own life I know God is everywhere, but I need to carve out time and space where I am different. Where I slow down enough to recognize that God is everywhere. It is an odd condition that we sometimes have to go somewhere specific to see God everywhere.

I am very firm believer that every action that we make, we should make because we choose, because it is articulating who we are. We should not ever make choices out of obligation. It frustrates me greatly when people make choices with out thought. A parent does not get up in the middle of the night to care for their sick child because they have to, but instead because they want to. In that moment they are choosing who they want to be, a person of love and compassion. Free will is such a wonderful gift. It breaks my heart when folks willing choose not to choose.
I think friendship is no different. I don’t think there is a single act of friendship that should be done out of obligation. It should be done out of want. Want to do something. Want to be something. Many times those decisions are hard. We have to chose to sacrifice things we want in order to do stuff for those we love, but that shouldn’t be because we have to, but because it is worth it to make a sacrifice for an other because one wants what is best for the other.

We received two great introductions this weekend. One included the line, “Gene had twice been mistaken for the Dali Lama and once for a real llama.”

As a single man, old enough to remember how cool it was to get an Atari 2600 at 6, there are lots of people in my life who try and set me up. Good hearted attempts in every way. I was asked once again today, “What are you looking for?” as if the problem was that I am unable to find what I am looking for (instead of being happy living the wacky life I do).
Solid characteristics I try to build a relationship on (all types of relationships):
• Struggling to understand the Supernatural In everything I do I try and live out truth as I understand it, but I also understand that I don’t have a monopoly on truth. My understanding is incomplete. I need to keep working to complete it (though I never will). I love to be surrounded not with people who have the same understanding of truth, but people who understand their understanding is incomplete and are willing to struggle with the truth, and when they find new truth to let go of their old beliefs and grow.
• Have dreams and believe they are worth chasing People who are dreams are so much fun to be around. They are willing to see the world as it should be. They chase that dream. It doesn’t matter if they get their, but it is fun to watch (or participate) in the ride.
• Love to play There is not enough play in our adult (and younger) world.
Ridicules characteristics that are not a good basis to build a relationship on (but I find irresistible in women)
• Ability to play the fiddle
• Ability to ride a horse in such a fashion it is impossible to tell the difference between person and horse
• Curly black hair with green eyes

I received a very exciting phone call from one of my favorite people in the world. She called to tell me she has the opportunity to doing something she has dreamed about for a very long time. It is a life change opportunity, and with all life changing opportunities there is a lot to consider. She asked me how I am able to take risks in my life to follow the untraditional path in my own life.
1) I am a dumb hick from Wyoming who doesn’t know any better. There have been many times in my life when a situation was over I realized that I was in much greater danger than I thought at the time. I am generally oblivious, but because of that I am debilitated by fear. As my father always says, “A little fear is good.” A lot of fear makes it impossible to act. Disconnect from your fear when you have to consider a choice. As the question, “What would I do if I had no fear?”
2) It’s all a big game. If I truly believe the profession of faith that I proclaim, then I know how the story end. This life is placed in context for what it is, a short amount of time in the context of eternity. Even if I didn’t believe after this life I would spend eternity with the Supernatural, life is a long tail. Many times we fret and fuss over situation that in the long run are realized to be much less significant. It is easier to make a choice when you don’t think the world (or your world) depends on it because in most cases it doesn’t.
3) I am looking for the right struggle, not the right solution. There is nothing that makes me happier in the world than the pursuit of dreams. Choosing something to believe, or what to become and giving what I can to achieve it lights me up. It is amazing the obstacles you can overcome when you are possessed by dream. You find in yourself courage and ability you didn’t know was there. It is not that you find courage and ability to do everything, but just enough to face the challenge, task, or step that is before you now, leading you closer to the dream. Just enough to get you next step. At the next step you some how find more, more in yourself and more in your world. The out come is not important, but the passion that you pursue with, and the growth that happens along the way. A choice is easier when success is judged by who you are and what you learn, not if you achieved the original vision (man time you will realize as you grow closer the original vision is flawed and you find your way to something completely new).

Early travel this week. More music for the road.
Flavor of the Week – American Hi-Fi – 2001
Make Me Lose Controle – Eric Carmen – 1988
Banditos – Refreshments – 1996
All for You – Sister Hazel – 1997
Fell in Love with a Girl – The White Stripes – 2001
Jenny Says – Cowboy Mouth – 1996
Don’t KNow Why – Norah Jones – 2002
Strong Enough – Sheryl Crow – 1993
Seether – Veruca Salt – 1994
See How We Are – X – 1987